Abysmal Crucifix's Members

 

Current Members

Girth McDürchstein

Born April 14, 1974, in the gloom of springtime Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Matthew Phillips didn't feel he had many opportunities in life. The son of a callous banking executive and an overbearing homemaker, he spent much of his time struggling against tight reins of oppression. A conservative, small-town life with parents who took an active interest in him, Matt sought an escape. First he tried video games, an Atari 5200 and Nintendo Entertainment System, but they left him feeling empty.

For his 12th birthday, Matt's mother — having noticed her son's healthy appreciation for the popular heavy metal acts of the day — bought her son an electric guitar, and from that day forward his life changed. He practiced obsessively, trying to learn as much as he could about music, about guitar technique. In 1990, at the age of 16, Matt joined up with his friends Robin Kelley (bass) and Carl Davenport (drums) — whom he had encouraged to pick up instruments of their own — to form a band they would eventually call Abysmal Crucifix. The band went through many incarnations, starting as a blues-jazz combo (Product Placement) and featuring a fourth member, guitarist Gary Schaefer. He quit the band in early 1991 to form a straight-jazz trio.

As the band solidified its style and roster, Matt's prolific songwriting began to mature rapidly. The first original composition to be played live by the band, "In the Backseat of a Jeep" was a tour de force 13-minute cock-rock anthem celebrating the loss of virginity to a busty, Amazonian woman. This, combined with covers from many popular groups of the era, led to a fruitful songwriting partnership with bassist and girlfriend Robin Kelley, who attempted to mold Matt's ambling songwriting style into a three-minute pop idiom. Together, they wrote over a dozen rockers, including the only "epic" to have the Robin Kelley seal of approval, a freeform instrumental entitled "Shitfest (for the Love and the Glory)" that, when performed live, usually clocked in around half an hour (the studio version on the band's 1995 debut, Star Sex, is only 23:37).

After graduating from Poe College in two short years, Matt decided to try a fresh start: he moved to Los Angeles, started going by the name Girth McDürchstein, hit the club scene and formed a new band utilizing the best musicians who would return his calls: Little Riffs Nicky (rhythm guitar), Mikey Parker (bass), Rutherford 'Jam' Malone (keyboards), and Tommy Janofsky (drums). They played the local L.A. scene, mostly concentrating on the dwindling heavy metal venues on the famed Sunset Strip.

While playing the clubs, this new incarnation of Abysmal Crucifix went into a studio that would soon become synonymous with the band, Hollywood's Paint Shaker. They recorded two albums in rapid succession, 1995's Star Sex and 1996's Two Berries on a Twig, both released under Girth's own pressing, Kelleystein Recordings. They launched a national tour to support both albums, and although neither sold particularly well, this does not mean the band's accomplishments are insignificant. Two years later, 1998's Delightlah! (the final album in the "sexy" trilogy) scored Girth his first national attention, when the single "Rolling in It" debuted and peaked at 98 on the Billboard Hot 100.

This was a time of both creative and commercial success for Girth's band, but for Girth personally, it was also a time of great success. While searching modeling agencies for the perfect cover model for Delightlah!, Girth met a firecracker named Margo Atwater. Feeling an instant attraction, Girth photographed her for the album cover himself, and they began a relationship that has lasted for nearly a decade. Girth and Margo were married in Las Vegas on December 2nd, 2005.

Unfortunately, Girth's personal victory in falling in love with Margo was short-lived. In late 1999, shortly before completing Abysmal Crucifix's eagerly anticipated fourth album (You Can Touch It for a Quarter), Girth was arrested, charged, and eventually convicted with the rape and murder of a man and woman in a motel in Missoula, Montana. Sentenced with two consecutive life sentences and no opportunity for parole, Girth served for almost two years before his conviction was overturned. New evidence revealed that Girth had nothing to do with the horrible acts of violence; he merely spent nine hours in a motel room with the bodies before reporting it.

Girth drew inspiration from his prison stay, and especially from his in-prison reading of José Barrenechea's harrowing nonfiction diary, El Laberinto de los Diablos. Although revealed in 1998 to be a work of fiction written by noted author and Mormon anti-drug activist Beatrice Sparks, Girth saw many parallels to his own life in the story of a boy whose obsession with violent video games led him to drugs, criminal behavior, and eventually murder and suicide. From this was born Girth's most ambitious and significant project to date, Girth McDürchstein's 'The Hedge', the double-album that spawned a stage show and film by noted indie producer/director Vance Sloane.

Riding high on the creative and commercial success of The Hedge, Girth had a hard time following up the project. In fact, he hasn't yet. In 2006, inspired by the experience of returning to Cedar Rapids for the first time in over a decade, Girth wrote and recorded an album called Girth McDürchstein's 'The Return.' In fact, as a result of a complete change in the band's personnel, the album was actually recorded twice, but Girth simply wasn't happy with either finished product. Much to his own disappointment, Girth abandoned the project and continues seeking greener pastures.

Carl Davenport

Content: Abysmal Crucifix's original drummer, from 1992-1994, Carl Davenport rejoined the group in 2006. He also owns a coffee shop called the Blue Lantern Café on the outskirts of Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Click here to read a detailed, insightful interview with Carl, written in 2005.

Margo Atwater

Click Margo's image for a high-resolution photo!

Margo Atwater was born ca. 1979 in San Francisco. Her father, Mitch Atwater, and mother, Cornflake Jenna Stevens, continued to be strong advocates of the hippie philosophy well into the 1980s. As a result, Mitch made ends meet by turning to politically motivated — but nonetheless lucrative — criminal activities. Whenever police or government suspicion came close to the Atwater home, Cornflake — a gifted manipulator raised by a family of traveling con artists — could change the investigative direction of major cases in a few sentences. Still, Margo had a difficult early childhood, moving all over the San Francisco area for her father's work.

As a child, Margo yearned for the spotlight, and she was fortunate enough to be blessed with good looks and intelligence. After getting her GED at age 16, Margo had her sights set on a modeling or acting career in Los Angeles.

Finding success as a model was not as easy as Margo anticipated. By the time she had turned 18 and hadn't had any real success except for a few underage nude shoots for sleazy magazines like Slut-Wrench and Gutter Tramps, Margo took matters into her own hands. With the help of a bevy of gorgeous — but, like Margo herself, unemployed — models and her unscrupulous agent, Charlie Reaver, Margo thought she might be better suited to fashion photography. She wasn't, but Margo had inherited abilities from her parents that allowed her to hatch a brilliant scheme: she hired professional photographers for layouts of each model, stole the film, stiffed the photographer, and took credit for the photos herself. While the Reaver Agency had little success, Margo became one of the most sought-after photographers in Southern California.

After meeting future husband Girth McDürchstein in 1998, Margo slowly gave up her glamorous life to support her husband. Though she returned to the deceitful world of modeling and photography during Girth's brief prison stay, Margo discovered a new passion while on the road with Girth: music.

To help out when former drummer Tommy Janofsky disappeared, Margo taught herself to play the drums. When bassist Mikey Parker quit and former drummer Carl Davenport returned, Margo found herself equally proficient as a bass player. In the newest line-up of Abysmal Crucifix, Margo plays keyboards — an instrument she only learned last year!

Little Riffs Nicky

Nicholas H. Kaplan, better known as Little Riffs Nicky, was born in 1974 in Santa Rosa, California, where he was also raised. After an uneventful childhood, Nicky made an unsuccessful go at college. Having played guitar for three years, he chose instead to pursue musical avenues, moving to Los Angeles and living on the streets for over a year before auditioning for an available rhythm guitarist Abysmal Crucifix. He played in the band from 1994 to 2006, when he was fired by bandleader Girth McDürchstein. During that time, Nicky lived in Chicago, working in the Nabisco warehouse and playing with a local metal band called the Felt Tips. In 2007, he was asked to return to Abysmal Crucifix — and he accepted.

But it's not all sunshine and roses. After a wild gig in 1997, Nicky took the stage for an unexpected solo encore. Even more unexpectedly, he berated the audience with hostile, racially motivated remarks. Several days later, he admitted problems with alcohol and drugs. Rumors sprang up that said substance abuse problems were Nicky's way of coping with deep-seated psychological problems. Nicky has never confirmed this, although former drummer Tommy Janofsky went on record as stating Nicky was diagnosed with a dissociated schizoaffective disorder. Nobody in the band will confirm or deny this allegation.

In a 1999 interview with Hardchord Magazine, staff writer Peter Jones asked Nicky point-blank, "Have you ever been institutionalized?" According to Jones, Nicky "laughed, turned around, and walked away."

Despite undergoing rehab twice — once in 1997, once in 2001 — many friends, fans, and acquaintances acknowledge he continues to have problems with alcohol abuse and occasional "psychotic fits."

Mikey Parker

Raised on the mean streets of Brooklyn, at the age of 13 Mikey Parker traded his entire comic-book collection for a cheap electric bass made by an unknown Japanese manufacturer. Three years later, he joined a local metal band called the Roughexx. After high school, Mikey went to college in San Diego, where he played with another metal band, Dust Storm. It was with Dust Storm that he met future former Abysmal Crucifix drummer Tommy Janofsky. After college, Tommy convinced Mikey to move to Miami for two years, promising him a lucrative job with the highly legitimate Madera Organization. Tiring of his job, Mikey moved to Los Angeles to get his music career starting. He struggled briefly, until he saw an audition flyer for a fledgling band called Abysmal Crucifix. When bandleader Girth McDürchstein insulted his playing ability, Mikey responded, "Look, you fucking prick, you can criticize me and say I suck and treat me like I'm a rotten piece of shit, but look at you. What the fuck are you? Just one of the millions of fucking retard Midwesterners who come out her to California with big dreams. Well, you know what? With an attitude like that, your dream will die just like everyone else's. You're an arrogant prick, but you have nothing to be arrogant, so you know what, you can suck my big fat bass-playing dick and go straight to fucking hell."

Legend has it, this tirade got Mikey into the band. From there, he continued to foster a hostile relationship with Girth McDürchstein, but he got along well with his Abysmal Crucifix bandmates, and he grudgingly admits that he enjoys the music he played. He continued playing with the band through 2006, when he was fired along with Little Riffs Nicky and Rutherford "Jam" Malone. He briefly pursued a solo career, but his album (Mikey Parker's Jazz Destructor) never got off the ground. He re-joined Abysmal Crucifix in April of 2007.

Former Members (1992-Present)

Robin Kelley

Robin Kelley grew up in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and founded Abysmal Crucifix with Girth McDürchstein in 1992. She came from a musical family — her father played violin in the Cedar Rapids Symphony Orchestra, and her mother directed the choir at St. Dymphna — so when Girth asked her to join his band, she agreed immediately. At this period, they wrote most songs together. Initially, Robin had much better pop instincts than Girth. She helped him refine the trademark Abysmal Crucifix sound.

Though she played in the band and wrote songs, Robin never craved the limelight. She refused to go on tours and sometimes sat out of local gigs if the crowd got too large. She just liked to play goofy songs for her friends at the Blue Lantern Bar & Grill.

After Girth left for Los Angeles, Robin got a job as a billing clerk at an Allstate branch. She remained there for over a decade. In late 2006, friend Sharon Rexsmith (of Hardchord Magazine) surprised Robin by offering her a staff position in Seattle. Robin jumped at the opportunity to get out of her hometown once and for all.

Wilson Freedburg

Wilson Freedburg plays in the band Chump Change in Iowa City, Iowa. He currently works as an adjunct faculty member at the University of Iowa in Iowa City. He grew up in Cedar Rapids and acted as bass player during Abysmal Crucifix's 1992 U.S. tour. Afterward, bandleader Girth McDürchstein asked Wilson to join up full-time as a rhythm guitarist. Exhausted from the tour, Wilson told Girth to "shove it." They rarely keep in touch, so his biographical information might be out of date.

Roger Cornwallis

Currently a successful Mildew recording artist, Roger Cornwallis plays lead guitar in The Conquistadors. As a favor to Girth McDürchstein (to this day one of Roger's closest friends), Roger played bass during Abysmal Crucifix's 1993 U.S. tour.

Thanks to the exposure that tour gave him (in more ways than one — his on-stage antics were often more lascivious than Girth's), Roger was asked to join the Los Angeles-based Conquistadors in 1994. He played bass originally, but when originally lead guitarist Leif Stanley had a fatal overdose in 1996, Roger usurped this position in the band. He has remained there ever since.

Rutherford "Jam" Malone

Classically trained pianist and composer Rutherford "Jam" Malone grew up in San Luis Obispo, California. He performed undergraduate studies in music composition at University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio and received a Master's degree in 1987 from Brandeis University in Waltham, Massachusetts.

After graduate school, Jam pursued his musical dreams to Los Angeles, where he played in an enormous weekly jazz co-op called Jazz Lung for three years, at which time he became the keyboardist in the acid-jazz/metal combo Sextronic Rocket Society. The band survived for five years before creative differences and in-fighting led to its dissolution in 1994. Though they toured extensively, Sextronic Rocket Society released no albums.

In 1994, a chance meeting with bandleader Girth McDürchstein led to Jam join Abysmal Crucifix, where his classical training in composition and arrangement led to him becoming Girth's go-to man to harness Girth's complex structures in the most musically pleasing ways possible. During this time, Jam arranged every Abysmal Crucifix song, including several pieces for full orchestra. He arranged and conducted the stage version of Girth McDürchstein's 'The Hedge.' This fruitful musical relationship lasted until 2006, when Jam was unceremoniously fired. Jam retired to a small ranch outside Glendive, Montana, where he quietly pursued a career composing neo-classical and jazz works for solo and double piano.

In 2006, Jam returned to Los Angeles to shop his album around to jazz labels. He was asked, in 2007, to return to Abysmal Crucifix, but Jam declined.

Tommy Janofsky

Raised in the suburbs of Miami, Tommy Janofsky got a package-delivery job at the Madera Organization right out of high school. He slowly worked his way up, eventually serving as an executive liaison at Madera's world headquarters in La Jolla, California. While there, Tommy met future Abysmal Crucifix bassist Mikey Parker by chance. Having rhythm in common, the two became fast friends and had fun jamming with each other and local college bands.

After several years, Tommy requested a less stressful position and was sent back to Miami to pilot cigarette boats to the Keys and other local islands. He returned to Los Angeles in 1994 and almost immediately stumbled his way into Abysmal Crucifix. Jam Malone — whom Girth begged to join — refused unless his favorite Jazz Lung drummer (Tommy) was also hired. Reunited, he and Mikey shared the closest relationship in Abysmal Crucifix.

In 1999, when Tommy betrayed the band by stealing every tape associated with the never-completed You Can Touch It for a Quarter, Mikey was devastated. Mikey mixed, mastered, and released the album sessions with the help of Finkner Distribution Incorporated of Palmetto, Florida. In 2006, Tommy launched a defamation website called Abysmal Crucisux. The entire site is a web of lies. Tommy should be ashamed of himself, but he isn't.

Ric Malone

Jam's little brother. He filled in for two gigs in 1997 when Riffs fell ill. A competent rhythm guitarist, Ric lacks the interpersonal skills required to play in a successful band. Of course, this should come as no surprise considering his older brother isn't even polite enough to acknowledge when a friend and former bandmate extends an olive branch. Instead, he just wanders around in the same city trying to sell his half-assed jazz recordings.

Ric currently lives in Venice, California, with his wife, Patrice.