April 2007 Archives
April 11, 2007
PRESS RELEASE: Lawsuits Over Controversial Single Dropped
As many Crucificionados know, we got into a lot of trouble over our first single, “Thunderbird.” Finally, those troubles have been resolved. Our new publicist, Lacey Greenwood, has written a press release explaining the details of the situation. Here it is:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Lacey’s Relations
1142 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 600
Los Angeles, CA 90017
LAWSUITS OVER CONTROVERSIAL SINGLE DROPPED
HOLLYWOOD, April 11, 2007 — When Abysmal Crucifix released their sophomore effort, Two Berries on a Twig, in 1996, none of them would have guessed the album would generate a level of controversy almost unheard of for a heavy-metal band on the fringes of the L.A. rock scene.
The controversy? The album’s third track, “Thunderbird,” which chronicles a drunken barfight from the perspective of a jealous, inebriated rocker. For legendary California winers Ernest & Julio Gallo, it was a simple matter of trademark infringement: the song and single cover both include veiled references to Thunderbird, a well-known fortified wine produced by the E & J Gallo Winery. The Ford Motor Company, on the other hand, alleged that the song contains references to drunk driving and suicide by automobile. In particular the chorus, repeated four times in just under three minutes, contains the following lines: “Free as bird, high as a kite! / Thunderbird, take me away! / Forget this life, and all of its pain!”
Songwriter and Abysmal Crucifix frontman Girth McDürchstein has always responded to these allegations by explaining that the chorus “represents that certain frame of mind you have while under the influence of alcohol, especially cheap wine. Instead of being repressed, you feel free. Instead of feeling constant dread, pain, sorrow, whatever, you completely forget yourself and do something insane like beating the hell out of someone at the club. The idea of driving around drunk never even entered my mind [while writing this song].”
Unfortunately for McDürchstein, the Ford Motor Company’s arsenal of attorneys vastly outmeasured the one-man counsel of Kelleystein Recordings, the label McDürchstein founded in 1995. California attorney Lem Zisk represented the label from its inception through 1999. Regarding the case, Zisk was quoted in 1997 as saying, “It’s completely baseless and moronic, but these people have millions of dollars and they won’t stop until they crush [my client].”
Crush them they did. Earlier this year Kelleystein Recordings announced it was shutting its doors for, among other things, its drained pool of financial resources. Ten years of litigation wasn’t the only cause of Kelleystein’s demise, but it contributed significantly. Kelleystein chief financial officer DJ Koko declined repeated requests to comment, but much of their financial situation is a matter of public record, reported in such genre-‘zines as Hardchord and Slut-Wrench.
With the dissolution of Kelleystein Recordings in January, both the Gallos and Ford finally backed off of their suits, because they no longer had anything to sue. While McDürchstein did found and preside over the record label, is it his fault that the “Thunderbird” single was marketed with a cover glaringly similar to the Thunderbird fortified wine label? As a result of a dispute with Finkner Distribution of Palmetto, Florida, Two Berries on a Twig (both the original version and reissue) and the CD maxi-single have been out of print since 2003.
Without a record label or distributor, nobody will have access to this song. Former White House Deputy Counsel and current Ford Motor Company general counsel David G. Leitch puts it rather sensibly: “What’s the point? The bizarre legal tack taken by Dennis Ross, the previous counsel, should have been dropped years ago, but of course that was before my time. I didn’t even know of the suit until the record company shut down [in January].”
Abysmal Crucifix, preparing for a record release in June and a tour of the United States this summer, are breathing a sigh of relief with this news. “I always new they were full of shit,” says McDürchstein, “and this just proves it.” It does indeed.
Press Contact:
Lacey Greenwood
818.655.5000
laceygstring@girthmcdurchstein.com
—
Well, now that that’s out of the way, I’d like to announce that we have re-released “Thunderbird.” It’s featured on our MySpace player, or you can download it directly here.
—Girth
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on April 11, 2007 11:23 AM
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April 14, 2007
Total Fucking Bullshit
My wife, Margo Atwater, thought it’d be a really good idea if the band had a publicist. We’re in the process of reforming. I’m trying to lure some former members back to the band, without much success, and reputation-wise we’re at an all-time low. Enter a publicist we can’t really afford, who will hopefully be able to Tarn-X our image so we can afford her. Her name is Lacey Greenwood. She used to model with Margo back in the day, but now she’s all into public relations.
I don’t read Variety because I’m not really a movie guy. Sure, they have music/business news and all, but fuck, I don’t even read music-industry magazines that are fully concentrated on the business, much less ones that only have that info once in awhile. Point fucking being, imagine my surprise when Lacey sent over last Wednesday’s Daily Variety via courier. She was excited because she used her PR “skillz” (her spelling, I swear) to get my picture on the cover. I can’t say that’s not impressive, but look at the fucking article:
So I guess that’s that. With no fanfare whatsoever, the Hedge film that fans have been waiting on for years is officially done. Sloane and I are not exactly on speaking terms anymore, but for you, the fans, I’m going to try to patch our business relationship and try to get access to his rough cut. I’ve seen the rough cut, and it’s not very good, but if it’s something fans are interested in, I’ll put it out there if it’s humanly possible. Even if it means setting up big screens to broadcast the video during a concert, like we did with all that 1970s French erotica footage for the “Skullfucker” tour in 1997.
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on April 14, 2007 11:51 AM
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