June 2007 Archives
June 7, 2007
FAVORITES POLL — The Results Are In!
Well, it’s been 60 days since we began our vote for your favorites poll, and the results are in!
Just like we said in April, we’re putting all of these top songs online! Each title below has a link to the song MP3. Enjoy, Abysmal fans!
In order of popularity, your favorites are:
- Rolling in It
- Bay-Ooh-Tay-Tay (Original)
- Tongue Quest
- The Love Song of Gregor Samsa
- Put It Where It Doesn’t Belong
- Bay-Ooh-Tay-Tay (Alternate Lyrics)
- Phone Sex
- College Girls
- ¡Paz, Hombre!
- Radioactive Penis
- Rolling in It (Live at the Whisky-a-Go-Go 6/23/98)
- Alcohol Night
- Two Berries on a Twig
- The Cocksuckin’ Man Theme
- Thunderbird
- Bay-Ooh-Tay-Tay (Club Remix)
- Father’s Day
- Star Sex
- Meeting the One
- Sax on the Beach
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on June 7, 2007 2:06 PM
Permalink | Comments (0) |
Band News
| Digg It
New Line-Up!!
Three months ago, I realized I needed a band that could tour. Sure, Margo and Carl are great (and so am I), but three people can’t play such intricate pieces of music. You’ll understand this even more fully when Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Return’ hits stores in August. I knew in March that I needed to get the band back together.
But how? Things didn’t end well between me and the rest of the band, and yet—I missed the guys. Who wouldn’t? With the exception of Mikey Parker, we were one of the best bands out there.
In March, I just decided to call them, see how they were doing. Little Riffs Nicky, in particular, was thrilled to hear from me. Mikey was less enthusiastic. The only one who adamantly refused is Jam, who seems to believe there’s a market for four-handed jazz piano. The man’s an idiot. Besides, we don’t need him—my lovely wife Margo has taken up keyboards over the past few months, and already she’s as good as Jam, if not better. Our line-up has somewhat balanced, finally. We are:
Girth McDürchstein — lead guitar, lead vocals
Margo Atwater — keyboards, harmony vocals
Little Riffs Nicky — rhythm guitar, harmony vocals
Mikey Parker — bass, harmony vocals
Carl Davenport — drums
I’m at peace now, with worthwhile members (and Mikey) back in my band.
As we put the finishing touches on The Return, I’m scheduling a tour. It looks like, for the first time in Abysmal history, we’ll be hitting southeast Asia. Look for an official announcement from our publicist, Lacey Greenwood, in coming weeks.
—Girth
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on June 7, 2007 2:28 PM
Permalink | Comments (0) |
Band News
Reunited!
| Digg It
June 8, 2007
Website Relaunch!
Have five years really passed since Abysmal Crucifix launched its presence on the Web? Starting on a tiny Geocities website with a 5MB data limit wasn’t easy, but look at how far we’ve come. We originally launched our website to promote our then-new album, Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Hedge’, and over the years not much has changed with the site. Sure, we’ve added and subtracted, moved to our own domain, had a few design overhauls — but nothing like this!
Our new website features a complete multimedia experience. Instead of just reading about Abysmal Crucifix, you can feel the entire Abysmal experience: we have free music downloads, lyrics, reviews, detailed biographical info, past tour dates—spanning every important Abysmal moment since we took the name in 1992. Plus, we now have individual sections for each album—not just Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Hedge’! By popular demand, we’re giving you the straight dope on Star Sex, Two Berries on a Twig, Backseat Delightlah!—even The ‘You Can Touch It for a Quarter’ Sessions! And, as always, the section on Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Hedge’ is here to stay.
Everyone, please: check out the new website, poke around a bit, join the mailing list and become a true Crucificionado!
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on June 8, 2007 3:50 PM
Permalink | Comments (0) |
Band News
| Digg It
June 11, 2007
Once We Were Drug Runners
Now that I’m back with Abysmal Crucifix, I gotta admit I feel a little bad about writing an essay for my former buddy Tommy’s anti-Abysmal site. I was in a bad place at the time, so of course I’d say dickish and untrue things about Girth and my friends.
I’m over it now, and to make it up to Girth, I’ll tell you a 100% true story that is far more damning than anything on Tommy’s stupid defamation site. It goes like this…
Read more of "Once We Were Drug Runners" »
Posted by Mikey Parker on June 11, 2007 3:39 PM
Permalink | Comments (0) |
Reunited!
| Digg It
June 16, 2007
PRESS RELEASE: WORLD TOUR Announcement!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Lacey’s Relations
1142 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 600
Los Angeles, CA 90017
HEAVY METAL LEGENDS ANNOUNCE FIRST WORLD TOUR IN 10 YEARS
HOLLYWOOD, June 16, 2007 — For Abysmal Crucifix, the past two years have seen in-fighting, production problems, financial difficulties, embarrassment, and failure. In recent weeks, the band has regrouped and tried to put their recent problems in the past while looking ahead to the future. Slated for an October release, they are nearing completion of their latest album (Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Return’). Before the tentative release date, Abysmal Crucifix wants to return to the hearts and minds of fans and consumers—with a world tour.
Dates have been set for performances in Japan and many Scandinavian nations in July and August. More dates will be announced as they are booked. For the moment, the OFFICIAL TOUR DATES are:
| Date | City | Venue |
|---|---|---|
| 7.7.07 | Turku | Ruisrock Festival |
| 7.11.07 | Helsinki | Kyrpien keskitalvi |
| 7.13.07 | Oslo | Das Auge des Gotthaus |
| 7.14.07 | Oslo | Das Auge des Gotthaus |
| 7.18.07 | Stockholm | Arenan |
| 7.20.07 | Lund | Mejeriet |
| 7.22.07 | Reykjavík | Grand Rokk |
| 8.11.07 | Tokyo | Makuhari Messe |
| 8.12.07 | Tokyo | Makuhari Messe |
| 8.15.07 | Nagoya | Stirrup Nation |
| 8.18.07 | Osaka | Lagold Electric Now |
| 8.19.07 | Osaka | Lagold Electric Now |
Tickets will be available for purchase starting this Sunday (June 17, 2007).
Abysmal Crucifix’s friend/artist, Alistair Freeman (designer of each Abysmal album cover and logo) has created two promotional posters to be distributed by Abysmal Crucifix’s Japanese street teams. Unfortunately, when we contacted members of our Scandinavian street teams for aid in translation and distribution, we received few responses. Those who did reply suggested their time would be better spent “hunting gypsies.” We assume this is an odd language-barrier malapropism. Check out the Japanese promotional posters below.
 |  |
Press Contact:
Lacey Greenwood
818.655.5000
laceygstring@girthmcdurchstein.com
Posted by Lacey Greenwood on June 16, 2007 8:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (0) |
Band News
Press Releases
Reunited!
Splitcock Tour -- Europe & Japan '07
| Digg It
June 28, 2007
PRESS RELEASE: Girth McDürchstein Presents: ‘If I Did It…’
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Lacey’s Relations
1142 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 600
Los Angeles, CA 90017
WRONGFULLY ACCUSED ROCKER TELLS HIS STORY
HOLLYWOOD & TOKYO, June 28, 2007 — I’m going to tell you a story you’ve never heard before, because no one knows this story the way I know it. It takes place on the night of November 9, 1999, and it concerns the murder of a Chilean-American prostitute and a young busboy/pimp. I want you to forget everything you think you know about that night because I know the facts better than anyone. I know the players. I’ve seen the evidence. And, of course, I’ve read all the stories: That I did it.
When Girth McDürchstein was accused, convicted, and eventually incarcerated for two murders (and one count of rape that was dropped when forensic evidence revealed the victim had already expired), he made a plea heard ‘round the world: “I didn’t do it!” In 2001, new evidence proved him right and led to his exoneration and release.
The experience inspired Abysmal Crucifix’s double-album masterpiece, Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Hedge’, but now McDürchstein has decided to tell another story—the story of a rock star driven to the brink of insanity, forced to commit murder and all manner of unseemly crimes of passion. McDürchstein tells it the way only a songwriter can: as a full-length novel.
What would have happened if Girth McDürchstein really had murdered those people in cold blood, for petty and selfish—but morally justifiable—reasons? How would he have carried it out? The story McDürchstein tells is almost too terrifying to consider! Almost.
After a long period of negotiation with American publishers who opted for glossy, sugar-coated tales of tragedy, McDürchstein grew frustrated with the corporate obsession with commercial appeal. Searching elsewhere, he found a friend in Japanese publisher Handsome House, a division of Gentosha. Handsome House proudly presents Girth McDürchstein’s debut “novel,” If I Did It…
Loaded with authentic details from McDürchstein’s true experiences, plus evidence uncovered in his brief court case, Girth McDürchstein crafts a semi-true-crime thriller of unparalleled intensity and candor. Look for If I Did It… at your local book retailer today!
Handsome House offers a free 10-page excerpt of If I Did It…. Click here to download it.
For Members of the Press:
 |  |
Press Contact:
Lacey Greenwood
818.655.5000
laceygstring@girthmcdurchstein.com
—
Girth here. I just gotta say upfront that the publishers of this book royally fucked up on the cover. We’re not sure how it happened, but they refuse to dishonor themselves by admitting a mistake, so even though the proper title (even inside the book) is If I Did It…, you’ll find it in bookstores as While I Do That…
Also, the publishers explicitly told us to put up a 10-page excerpt to entice you all to buy. But come on—you’re my peeps. I can’t deny you any part of me, so while I encourage you to seek it out in bookstores and buy a copy to support me, I’m supporting you right back by also providing the best part—chapter six, “The Night in Question.” All your questions—answered! Special shout-out to our intern/web guru, Jason Fields, who helped us make the PDF file.
Click here for the expanded excerpt featuring the ENTIRE CHAPTER of “The Night in Question.”
Drop some comments on the MySpace to let us know what you think.
—G.McD
Posted by Lacey Greenwood on June 28, 2007 4:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (0) |
Band News
Press Releases
| Digg It