January 2008 Archives
January 4, 2008
The Sunset Strip
Margo went out of town a few days ago for a modeling shoot in Boston, so I haven’t had much to do. Renal always seems to be out with her friends until all hours of the night, the band hasn’t been practicing since we are, at the moment, floundering. I hate to admit that, but we have no new material, nobody in the U.S. will book us, and ever since our world tour over the summer, I have been afraid to leave the country. Not so much out of embarrassment as the fact that I’m pretty sure there’s a price on my head in at least four countries.
Anyway, I decided to go down to a club out in Glendale called The Sunset Strip. Considering it’s nowhere near the actual Strip, I think it’s pretty obvious what kind of club it is. (It’s a strip club.) I had fun for about half an hour stuffing singles into the leopard G-string of a fake-titted blonde named Amber, but when she brought my third beer she whisper-shouted (to be heard over the music) that the main attraction would be hitting the stage in a few moments, so Amber needed to clear her pole.
“That sucks,” I said, sticking a fifty down the center of her G-string and playing around down there for a moment. “Is she hot?”
Amber moaned softly, “The hottest.” Then she walked away without saying goodbye.
“It’s that time again,” the slovenly D.J. croaked into his microphone. To my surprise, my own song “Phone Sex” started to play over the P.A. “The most sextacular 18-year-old ever to grace the stage—Margo Atwater!”
My jaw literally dropped. Margo had acted overly interested when a stripper from Indiana sought permission to use “Phone Sex” in her act, but I had no idea why…until now! I was about to leap to the stage and force her into the back to give her a stern talking-to, but I realized I would inevitably back down, so what was the point? I let it ride to see if her act was any good.
When the singing started, the curtain burst open, and a lingerie-clad girl who was decidedly not my wife launched herself onto the stage, throbbing and gyrating to the beat. She looked familiar, but I didn’t know for sure until she dropped the bra.
“Renal!” I gasped, lunging toward the stage, hypnotized by her small but luscious breasts.
Renal’s dancing slowed when she saw me. She looked baffled as five beefy bouncers jumped me from behind.
“RENAL!” I roared as they dragged me toward the front door.
On the long minivan ride home, I knew what had to be done. Only one thing could save Renal Rojas—and, almost as importantly, the reputation of myself and Abysmal Crucifix. One major change.
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 4, 2008 11:58 PM
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January 6, 2008
Rebranding
“Rebranding? What the fuck does that even mean?” Carl asked.
I looked to Lacey, who stood next to me at the head of Harcourt Abimelech Feinstein’s dried-blood-encrusted conference table. She slipped me a worried glance, then said to Carl, “It means from this day forward, you are no longer Abysmal Crucifix. You are the Jupiter Starshine Collective.”
“Uhhh,” Mikey Parker said at length.
“Trust me,” I said. “I’ve thought and thought and thought about this—it’s the only way. We have to play happy, peppy pop-rock about joy, peace, and love.”
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 6, 2008 3:14 PM
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January 15, 2008
Jupiter Starshine Collective
Well, here we are. The Jupiter Starshine Collective, once known by the name Abysmal Crucifix, is here to rock and teach your impressionable children.
Our MySpace song line-up has changed drastically as a result of our focus on family-oriented pop over misogynistic, sexually charged heavy metal. While we, unfortunately, cannot include any recordings of new material, we have a plethora of older songs appropriate for children and adults of all ages. It is my hope that this music will help promote discussion, understanding, and tolerance in a society desperately yearning for all three. I’d like to explain some of the choices because, at first listen, they might not appear to contain the positive values I’ve described.
- First, we have the live recording of a very heavy song—both in subject and in level of rock—called “Rolling in It.” Now, parents, I understand that this song contains an expletive, repeatedly, but that shouldn’t dull the underlying message that sharing banking information with Nigerians is always bad. Sometimes you can outsmart them, but they’re a shrewd bunch and they love scamming innocent college students with credit cards. Watch out, parents and kids!
- An acoustic version of fan favorite “Put It Where It Doesn’t Belong” may sound like a macho song dripping with testosterone, but if you listen closely, you will hear its pro-immigration message. Even when I first wrote it, I described as “a latter-day ‘Get Together.’” My voice may not ring as nicely as Jesse Colin’s, but I believe the message is clear.
- ”Two Berries on a Twig” and “Man Is It Sweaty!” are the two most romantic songs I’ve ever written—I think their message of love conquering all is extremely relevant in a society where such filth as celebrity sex tapes and Dancing with the Stars are considered high cultural touchstones.
- And finally, the gun-control rap classic “Gangster Lovestick.” Now, many kids today love the rap music, and in 1998 I tried to tap into this while getting a heavy message across—guns do kill people!
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 15, 2008 3:36 PM
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January 18, 2008
PRESS RELEASE: First Jupiter Starshine Collective Single – Little Darlin’!!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Lacey’s Relations
1142 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 600
Los Angeles, CA 90017
“LITTLE DARLIN’” POISED TO TAKE POP CHARTS BY STORM
LOS ANGELES, January 18, 2008 — “I love my daughter, and I don’t care who knows it,” says Girth McDürchstein. He’s speaking specifically about Jupiter Starshine Collective’s latest single, “Little Darlin’,” but it could just easily apply to the entire band.
In 1992, McDürchstein founded thrash band Abysmal Crucifix. In 1994, after a disagreement with longtime bandmates Carl Davenport and Robin Kelley, he re-formed the band in Los Angeles with entirely new players—with the exception of McDürchstein himself, who remained lead vocalist, lead guitarist, and principal songwriter—and a modified sound. Abandoning the trademark “epic” songs loaded with instrumental passages, solos, and ever-changing riffs that made McDürchstein a star, the songwriter began to favor a heavy-metal spin on the three-minute pop song, churning out such gems as “Phone Sex” (1995), “Kingdom Cum” (1996), the tender ballad “Two Berries on a Twig” (1996), and politically conscious “Rolling in It” (1998).
It was a change that pleased few. Longtime fans felt McDürchstein had “sold out,” while casual fans or non-fans felt alienated by lyrics described as everything from “insipid” to “unholy portents of our mutually assured cultural destruction.” This did not stop McDürchstein, who in 2002 produced the best of both worlds: Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Hedge’, a concept double-album telling an intricate story and featuring a tantalizing hybrid of lengthy, artistically obtuse rockers and polished pop hooks.
After meeting his estranged daughter in 2007, McDürchstein chose to change the band’s focus—but also its name and identity!
“What does Jupiter Starshine Collective mean to me?” he asked rhetorically, sitting back with a wistful twinkle in his eye, thinking deeply. “Family. Love. Charity.
“Who can be a member of this collective?” he continued. “Is it just me, Margo, Carl, Nicholas, and Michael? No. Anybody who has ever felt love in their hearts for family or friend—or even enemy—they are members of the Collective. I think it’s a privilege to call yourself a member of the Collective, and it’s something you have to earn. And because a participant in Jupiter Starshine Collective does, he or she has the ability to create new and better realities, and improve conditions.”
Jupiter Starshine Collective goes above and beyond the limited scope of Abysmal Crucifix not just in spirit, but also in quality of music. Already, industry insiders consider this hastily produced single the dawn of a new musical day for Girth McDürchstein and has bandmates. Before its official release, “Little Darlin’” has already received consistent radio airplay throughout Southern California and in markets as diverse as Vancouver, Baltimore, and Paducah. It is the #3 most requested song on KMSC out of Sioux City, Iowa, and if these trends continue, it could be McDürchstein’s first charting single in nearly a decade.
Please enjoy “Little Darlin’” yourself by downloading it. Download here.
The lyrics are transcribed below:
Runnin’ through a field of apple blossom leavesINTERESTED IN TICKETS?! That’s right—on Saturday, January 19, we will be handing out a total of 120 tickets for fans to join Jupiter Starshine Collective for a tour of the Paint Shaker and to sit in on a recording session with the band. Find out what it’s like to work in a real recording studio as the group preps their anticipated album, Kinshasa Harpsichord.
On a sunny day, hair blowin’ in the breeze.
Never seen a daughter who looks so fair
Come to Daddy, girl, and let me brush your hair.
Little Darlin’, come and sit upon my knee.
You’re my baby girl, I love you, can’t you see?
Little Darlin’, let me whisper in your ear.
Keep a secret, baby, there’s no need to fear.
Saturdays, we go strollin’ through the park.
We won’t stay too long, I know you hate the dark.
Let’s go to the mall for some clothes shopping.
I’ll watch you try some outfits on if you want me.
Little Darlin’, let me stroke your lovely hair.
Lay your head upon my chest, your skin’s so fair.
Little Darlin’, don’t you cry tonight.
I’ll make sure that everything feels all right.
Come on, Little Darlin’, wait for me.
I’m gettin’ older now and can’t keep up, you see.
My baby girl no longer needs me.
All we ever do is fight and disagree.
Maybe someday she’ll come back to me.
She’ll never find a man who stacks up to me.
Little Darlin’, have you torn your party dress?
No need to cry like that, your face just looks a mess.
Let your daddy make your problems go away.
Shuh, shuh, quiet, girl, there’s nothin’ left to say.
We will allow 20 fans per day, starting Monday, January 21, and going until Friday, January 25. If you’d like tickets, act quickly by joining the Jupiter Starshine Collective Official Mailing List and Happy Fan Club or by visiting us at 777 N. Highland in Hollywood. Limit: One ticket per person!
Press Contact:
Lacey Greenwood
818.655.5000
laceygstring@girthmcdurchstein.com
Posted by Lacey Greenwood on January 18, 2008 4:13 PM
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January 20, 2008
One of Those Weeks…
You know that gnr song ‘Sometimes these things just seem to rip you right in two, oh no man don’t let ‘em get ta you….’? I’m having one of those weeks…I just got 2 new kittens, brothers and sisters, named miss cleopatra and mister tommy slater…they are the best of friends, which is wonderful, but being young, they are into everything, including some things I didn’t know you could get into…mister slater also seems to want to wake me up at 5am to say hello…well, the music for the pop and folk record is going really swell, just starting to get into a groove writing some songs…predominantly focusing on melodies right now, leaving the words for a bit further down the road, which is unusual, but necessary…in the months to come, I am going to share some things with you that you have never heard me say…that doesn’t mean I’m rewriting history, that means I’m going to tell you the truth about who I am and what I believe in my heart…a lot of things that I have said thru the years seemed confusing, like I was hiding somethin!g, and often times I was…’why’, you might ask? Many times I hid to protect my band mates…for example, its been almost 6 years since I went on my friend gina’s radio show and announced that ‘the Hedge’ would be coming out…that day, when she asked why it took 4 years to put out an album and why we had to go to england to record it, I said something silly like, ‘because I was in prison for events strangely similar to those on the record blah blah’…and it went on to be widely quoted, as if I spent 4 years, after recording 3 records in about 2 years, trying to get this 1 album together…and you know, let’s just not worry about losing the fans or what have you…by saying that, I was seen as a songwriter who couldn’t get his act together, which was sad cause it wans’t true at all…The truth of the matter is is at the time I was a bandleader who lost controll…did it help that tommy was out, along with our previous (never released) album? No, that didn’t help, not at all…it made it very hard to go on, but we soldier! ed thru it even though our hearts were broken…But tommy didn’t slow us down, we didn’t let him…and I didn’t go to prison at all…but really this was all mikey and Riffs and Jam who had no respect…Jam kept trying to steal control…Mikey disrespected…Riffs acted crazy and unpredictable…but I was too loyal to them…I couldn’t stop them from convincing me to make bad decisions…undermining my creative authority…I did what they asked to protect them, to protect the band…but I won’t be protecting them anymore…and I won’t be protecting a whole lot of other people anymore…not because I don’t love them (I do!!) but because I love myself too…I want to say one more thing, and that is I appreciate you reading this…+I want to remind you that I love you…God has given me the strength to say that to you, and I hope that you don’t hide who you are…does it make me sad that I have hid myself all these years? No, it was what I had to do to survive, or least what I ‘thought’ I needed to do…but surviving is not enough…we all deserve to flourish, and to know happiness and joy…that is my new dream…abysmal crucifix gave me that, and I am eternally grateful…especially to those that shared in the dream with me…even if you bought just one cd, or came to a show, you gave us a chance…we thank you for that…even if we don’t always know how to show it…even if we change our genre, name, and attitude to better reflect the political climate and avoid exhaustive media coverage…be well!! Girth
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 20, 2008 5:22 AM
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January 22, 2008
Martin Luther King Holiday
Hi… i figured posting on MLK day was a bit obsessive, so I skipped it, but to keep the stream of consciousness flowing, I did take the opportunity on MLK day to play the entire 8 jupiter songs in to-tal for my family, and it was good practice, making me realize (yet again) that I’m out of shape :) So that makes 3 full run thru’s in 2 days, for those keeping score, which has been helpful and has really helped to build my confidence for any shows we might book…. one sidenote: I was lazy and didn’t want to take 3 guitars home (I’ve been keeping them at the paint shaker), do I just took one, which (because of alternate tuning issues) forced me to change the basic set I had written up…. i was surprised that the feeling was consistent even with a different flow of songs, and that was something I didn’t expect….
ok, on to today, the first day of recording…. i got there at about 1:30 with the 20 fans supposed to come at 3. on Saturday past, we gave out 120 tickets (20 a day) for some fans to come…. right away when I got there it was obvious that certain things still weren’t set up, as ladders were being moved and microphones set up, etc. so, at 3:30 p.m., we started letting some people in even though we were not showbiz ready…. everyone that came was very nice and friendly, which made having to sit there and test levels more tolerable…. after a while, we were ready to go, and we had to let everyone know to keep absolutely still because the microphones are cranked up so much you can hear people breathing! the first song we did takes on is called “jeremiah knows,” which is probably not going to be the title at the end of it all, but works for now…. i picked it because it’s a fun song to play and isn’t a “metal” song…. we did a few takes of that, and I got bored and we switched to a more important song, the 9-minute song “kiss you there”….
the first take was going great when I spaced it out and messed up after about 7 minutes, which is frustrating but goes with the territory of being in the moment. after I messed up, we tried one more of that one, which I got all the way thru with, and it was decent but not heart stopping…. in between takes I chatted with the people there, about things that were on their mind, like my past, and my past, and oh yeah, my future! I’m just kidding, we talked about all sorts of stuff, and everyone was very sweet and was kind about the whole process, which at the base of it I find boring…. the show biz part of me wants to keep anyone watching entertained but it is just not that forum…. i did a really beautiful take of a song called “sheathe your sword” in a lower key that normal, which seems to make it more peaceful and pretty…. some fans were crying after I finished, and it felt good to finally hit the right moment….
the day was shot with 7 cameras, and as I was going out the door carlos was giving each person a chance to ask a question that we may use as part of an interview segment on the DVD…. that’s all for now…. thanks to everyone who came today, you were great…. g.mcd
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 22, 2008 7:39 PM
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January 23, 2008
Little Kittens
Well, these little kittens have taken over my life, my psyche, the studio, and now they are singing on the record!! what next?? I have officially become one of those cat people, you know the ones who are like “you should have seen my cat…he is so funny, he like jumped from this things across to there and he made this funny face” and of course everyone nods politely and all but they think I’ve lost it…i guess I am not so tough after all…recording is still going swimmingly well, I am happy to report…lots of new ground being covered, all in a loud way…we are awaiting the arrival of some new equipment which will be changing the way we work…to this point it has been a sort of feeling out process, with lots of good ideas…once we get the new gear, we are going in full bore on songs…right now we hope to be mixing by march, with the loving dream of an easter type release…my book publisher told me they have slated the poetry book for late february, so of the 3 things going on, that will be the first to arrive upon your doorstep… I have been working on some of these songs for 4 years now, and it’s time to move on…to more out of tune type deals…we are a little tired, as we often don’t take any days off…so excuse the scattershot approach…after all, I am gonna be 34 soon…ugh!!!! See you at the party… :) In my next post, I will be able to give you my new email address if you would like to correspond…someone will be going thru the mail for me, so you are gonna have to win them over, not me…but I will do my best to respond to those that make sense and lack the common negativity that is all the rage these days…so if you are special, having something important to share, or a question I would hope to answer, get yer emails ready…also, keep an eye out, I’m gonna put a link up for my friends web site (alistair freeman)…he is a very talented airbrush artist, and is open to doing special commision type work (portraits, motorcycle tanks, etc)…so you can drop him a line too!!! all my best g.mcd
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 23, 2008 12:14 PM
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January 24, 2008
Good Morning, My Friends
Good morning, my friends…I write this to you at 7am or so, having just fed my cats (they get up early!)…they have figured out the gentle paw on the face as a way to say ‘get up and feed us/love us/play with us/whatever’, and when the gentle paw does not work, I get the gentle paw with some sharp claw :) We have finally received my christmas present, a fantastic piece of equipment that has already changed the direction and sound of the album…I am very excited about working this new way, and can’t wait to fully get into finally starting and finishing songs…there are lots of wonderful places to start, and directions to go that we haven’t even thought of yet…the best feeling is that I am in new territory (for me), and I wake up everyday, tired as I am, looking forward to going in to work…I feel this music will be very close to me and who I am, and when you find yourself in those places it is a very good thing…I can tell you it is not that exciting, but it is interesting as an experience of what goes on behind the scenes…I have been meaning to do a post on prayer and religion and whatever else goes in with tha!t, and I hope to do that this week, so please look for it g.mcd
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 24, 2008 7:22 AM
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January 25, 2008
Bad Reaction
Lacey just called. She’s all freaking out about our switch from hard rockers Abysmal Crucifix to the mainstream, family-oriented pop flavor of Jupiter Starshine Collective, culminating in our first single, “Little Darlin’.”
“This isn’t working, goddammit,” Lacey said in lieu of “hello.”
“Hey, Lacey,” I said, used to the abusive style of her phone calls.
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 25, 2008 11:39 AM
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Subpoenaed?!
I was in the kitchen, stirring a batch of homemade butterscotch candies for the preteens who scurry home along Moorpark from the elementary school nearby. Oftentimes, I find myself sitting on the balcony, enjoying a sunny afternoon, just watching the children laugh and play and touch one another. On occasion, Margo accuses me of leering and makes me come inside. It’s a little running joke we have. I thought making them some candy would give them a little thrill, and I could watch with satisfaction as they drop those little hard things onto their wet tongues. Slowly, after about five or ten minutes of intense sucking, the candies would soften, spraying the back of their throats with an extra burst of delicious flavor.
Margo sat on the couch with a clipboard and some looseleaf paper, making notes for her next issue of Happy Kitten Express, formerly known as Slut-Wrench. Renal sat on the floor, pressed up to the coffee table, doing the chemistry homework Margo had assigned earlier. Her hair was all done up in pigtails. My daughter looked adorable as her face wrinkled with consternation.
We heard a fierce pounding on the door.
“I’ll get it,” I said with a pleasing, musical lilt to my voice. Margo smiled at me like she used to when she took illegal Quaalades on a semi-regular basis. Mixing bowl in hand, I continued stirring as I crossed the tiny dining area to the front door.
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 25, 2008 5:08 PM
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January 27, 2008
Testimony Before the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation
I had to go to Washington, D.C., to testify before Congress regarding some of the unflattering and libelous things being written about my charity.
Read the full testimony by clicking here. A brief excerpt follows:
MATTHEW PHILLIPS. My name is Girth McDürchstein. This is my attorney, Harcourt Abimelech Feinstein.I’m posting this transcript so I can show everyone how the Senate has railroaded me and Sweet Treasures. That charity will cease to be, but I hope the help we’ve provided to the youth of Los Angeles will live on in their hearts for years to come.
The statement that I prepared, that I sent you 100 copies of, is five pages long, so I have shortened it down and am going to read a condensed version of it.
Certain things have—I’ve listened from outside the hall and I have to ask, why am I here? Have I committed a crime of any kind? If so, shouldn’t I be charged by authorities and—
Chairman CARTER. I think you had better concentrate on your testimony, rather than asking questions.
MATTHEW PHILLIPS. But—
Chairman CARTER. Nobody answer his questions. Nobody answer his questions!
MATTHEW PHILLIPS. OK, thank you.
On an unrelated note, I somehow managed to spend the remaining $800,000 of charity funds three days before I was subpoenaed. I have non-fraudulent receipts and statements backing this up. Tax that, motherfuckers!
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 27, 2008 2:23 PM
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January 28, 2008
Raw Deal
Feinstein called me into his office this morning and told me he had something urgent, a client he wanted me to meet regarding touring. Thinking it was a sponsor of some kind, I got dressed and drove down to Venice. His secretary, Sheila, gave me the usual look of lust and disdain, then sent me right in to see Herc.
I threw open the double doors as I said, “So what’s going on…”
I faltered when I saw, flanking Feinstein at the head of the conference table, Lacey and televangelist Hank Wooster.
“…Herc?” I finished anticlimactically.
“It’s okay, Girth. I don’t bite.” Wooster smiled, revealing teeth as blinding white as his lily colored suit. He spoke in a deep baritone with a rich Western twang.
“We’ll see about that,” I muttered.
Posted by Girth McDürchstein on January 28, 2008 4:16 PM
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January 29, 2008
PRESS RELEASE: Den Himmel Clinic Under Investigation
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Lacey’s Relations
1142 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 600
Los Angeles, CA 90017
CHARITY DESTROYED BY HERETICS
LOS ANGELES, January 29, 2008 — In September, Girth McDürchstein established a children’s charity that he believed would benefit the teens of Los Angeles. In these uncertain times, Girth McDürchstein’s Sweet Treasures was formed to spread positive virtues, morality, and awareness like so many communicable diseases; instead, the founders and sponsors of the Den Himmel Clinic forced McDürchstein to preach their own godless gospel.
“My hands were tied,” McDürchstein recalls. “We needed a good location to set up shop, but we had a very small operating budget, and much of it was applied toward building a neon sign.”
Rather than teach the virtues of abstinence, Den Himmel founders Gregory Herrmann and Eloise Jeremiah insisted that McDürchstein praise the power of premarital relations. It’s no surprise that a clinic founded on curing STDs and performing abortions would want to turn teen sex into a positive.
Herrmann refutes McDürchstein’s allegations, made public in a press conference yesterday. “That guys such an [expletive deleted],” he says. “We actually had to insist that he leave the door to the storeroom open, because when he took girls in there and had it closed—I don’t want to say I know exactly what was going on, but we always heard soft moans and the hum of a vibrator.”
“Girls are very emotional and passionate,” McDürchstein responds with a shrug. “And I’m sure that hum was just the water heater.”
Televangelist Hank Wooster praises McDürchstein’s honesty. “He’s shown himself, time and again, to be a good and charitable person, trying to do the right thing in a tough world. I applaud his courage and honesty in the face of Big Free Clinic.”
But Herrmann has the final word. “This is [expletive deleted],” he says, responding to a federal warrant to search the clinic and investigate wrongdoing and unlawful promotion of underage sex.
”[Expletive deleted], indeed,” McDürchstein chuckles.
Press Contact:
Lacey Greenwood
818.655.5000
laceygstring@girthmcdurchstein.com
Posted by Lacey Greenwood on January 29, 2008 8:18 AM
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January 31, 2008
The Band
Look, guys, I love the fans, I love being in a band again and doing whatever I want, but I hate this fucking blog. I made a promise never to post on it, but I have to break that so I can set the record straight before Girth puts his goofy spin on shit.
So here’s how it’s going down: this afternoon, Mikey, Nicky, and I quit. Yeah, don’t believe the hype. We are not Michael Parker, Nicholas H. Kaplan, and Carl Laurence Davenport. It’s just Mikey, Little Riffs Nicky, and Carl. Girth and Lacey can say any kind of crazy shit that they want, but we are not on board with this Jupiter Starshine fuck shit. That song, “Little Darlin’”? That was just Girth and Margo. That’s it.
Fuck, the past few weeks have been unbearable, made even worse by last week’s “promotional” intrusion by fans of Abysmal Crucifix who, in a confused daze, were lured into rehearsals and recording sessions. All they saw were bitch sessions and shouting matches as the three of us fought tooth and nail against this whole Jupiter Starshine fucking bullshit. Course, it’s Girth’s band and at the end of the day, we’re just along for the ride.
But not if we quit. We all had our different reasons. I think both Mikey and Nicky are pissed about Girth telling everyone he fired them when they actually quit. Personally, maybe I’m too much of a hippie for L.A., but I’m not convinced a person has to change their entire image just to accommodate a few people overreacting and using faulty statistics and faultier logic to bury you.
For someone as manipulative, arrogant, and persistent as Girth, you’d think he wouldn’t be so naïve, but he’s a nightmare. Anything Lacey says to him, or Feinstein, or Margo, or Renal - he follows their advice without question, or at least he tries his best to. If he could trust us as much as he trusts them, we probably wouldn’t be quitting.
Anyway, the last straw was this bullshit with Hank Wooster, the scum of the earth. At least the others have Girth’s best interests at heart - Wooster’s out for his own end, and while I don’t really know what his plans are, but raking Den Himmel through the coals to get a few gigs is thirty pieces of silver I can’t abide. They do what they do, they do it legally, and they’re ethical and as morally just as you can be without being a raging zealot like Wooster. It’s total bullshit that Girth sold them out when all the problems are his fault.
But I also have a problem with Renal. Either she’s as good as Girth is at manipulating without seeming to manipulate, or Girth has really gone off the deep end. She’s a vacuum of money, being showered with an endless number of gifts she doesn’t need. Girth is rearranging his entire lifestyle for her - no more going out, no more drinking, no more doing anything socially without her. I swear, even Margo hates what she’s done to him. He’s a shell of himself, and she’s gone and filled that shell up with Mr. Rogers.
So yeah, we’re done, and no matter what he says, we weren’t fired, we didn’t have some kind of crazy reason for quitting. We’re just unhappy with the direction of the band, so we’re going to form our own. The temporary band name is Velvet Lovestick. Keep your eyes peeled for our new MySpace and some demos in a few weeks.
Posted by Carl on January 31, 2008 3:14 PM
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