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July 29, 2008

I Write the Songs

Written by Girth McDürchstein on July 29, 2008 3:58 PM
Permalink |  Colby & Perdida Mildew Recording Artists  | Digg It

Walking into the Paint Shaker this morning, I was shocked to hear odd, foreign sounds emanating from the studio where we’ve holed up to write Girth McDürchstein’s ‘Fuck Machines.’ Since my problems with Margo, Mikey and Carl took it upon themselves to begin writing songs for the album, as if I wouldn’t mind. I entered the studio space, livid, and they clammed up immediately.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Just jamming,” Mikey said.

“Jamming… With lyrics I wrote for Fuck Machines?”

“Mikey actually has some pretty solid ideas, Girth,” Carl said.

“Let me guess: the bass gets a prominent melody while the other instruments get buried in a swirling wall of sound?”

“Uhhh…” Carl responded.

“Look, motherfucker,” Mikey interrupted. “We gotta get this shit done. If you aren’t gonna do it, somebody has to. You don’t have Jam to clean up your messes anymore.”

“Fuck you!” I exclaimed, sounding a bit whinier aloud than it did in my head.

“Good comeback,” Carl said.

“I don’t mean to be a prick,” Mikey said, “but I believe in this project, and I believe in making money off of it, so we have to finish it this time. If that means Carl and I have to write all the songs, so be it. But you have two choices: pull your head out of your ass, beg Margo to take you back, and get both of your asses back in the studio to finish writing the album, or suffer the humiliation of a co-writing credit.”

“Fine,” I snarled. “I’ll see you tomorrow―with Margo!”

As I stormed out of the studio, I heard Carl chuckle and say, “I can’t believe that worked.” I didn’t know what he meant by that.