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August 28, 2008

Studio Shitty

Written by Girth McDürchstein on August 28, 2008 4:05 PM
Permalink |  Colby & Perdida Mildew Recording Artists  | Digg It

“Why do you have to be such a raging fucking bitchwhore?” I shouted. “I know it’s not ‘cause you’re on your period, so what’s you’re fucking excuse?!” (By the way, I knew this because Margo doesn’t have any eggs, so her gyno thought it would be best if she went on the pill full-time since she’s not dropping any eggs, anyway.)

“My ‘excuse,’” Margo retorted, “is that I’m fucking sick of being married to a man who can’t keep it in his pants!”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it last night!”

“Are you retarded?! Of course I don’t care if you’re fucking me. It’s every other woman in the world I have a problem with.”

“Well, now,” Carl added, “doesn’t that just about sum up the female gender?”

Margo took off one of her stiletto heels at through it at Carl. He ducked, but she accounted for that—the shoe hit him right in the head. “Bitch!” he roared.

The others simply watched, in mingled amusement and fascination, as Margo and I went back and forth all afternoon. We didn’t record a note of music, but Carlos was gracious and sadistic enough to record every moment of our argument. I’m sure one day it’ll be compiled in a thrilling book chronicling the downfall of our band.

Finally, Margo excused herself. As she left, I followed her out into the hall, shouting, “You better not be going back home! I pay for that dump, and I’m sick of being the one who always has to sleep on the studio conference table whenever I do something wrong!”

Margo turned back viciously and emitted a piercing scream: “Fuck you!”

She stormed away.

“Holy fuck,” Carl said, coming out into the hall to watch her ass shake as she left, “this isn’t funny anymore. She really is pissed.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I just wish I knew what to say to fix it.”

“Saying’s for suckers,” Carl said, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “It’s all about actions.”

I hated to admit it, but he was right. I had to straighten up and fly right, build her trust back up by pretending to be trustworthy. It was the only way, and I loved Margo enough to fake it for awhile.