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June 7, 2007

New Line-Up!!

Three months ago, I realized I needed a band that could tour. Sure, Margo and Carl are great (and so am I), but three people can’t play such intricate pieces of music. You’ll understand this even more fully when Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Return’ hits stores in August. I knew in March that I needed to get the band back together.

But how? Things didn’t end well between me and the rest of the band, and yet—I missed the guys. Who wouldn’t? With the exception of Mikey Parker, we were one of the best bands out there.

In March, I just decided to call them, see how they were doing. Little Riffs Nicky, in particular, was thrilled to hear from me. Mikey was less enthusiastic. The only one who adamantly refused is Jam, who seems to believe there’s a market for four-handed jazz piano. The man’s an idiot. Besides, we don’t need him—my lovely wife Margo has taken up keyboards over the past few months, and already she’s as good as Jam, if not better. Our line-up has somewhat balanced, finally. We are:

Girth McDürchstein — lead guitar, lead vocals
Margo Atwater — keyboards, harmony vocals
Little Riffs Nicky — rhythm guitar, harmony vocals
Mikey Parker — bass, harmony vocals
Carl Davenport — drums

I’m at peace now, with worthwhile members (and Mikey) back in my band.

As we put the finishing touches on The Return, I’m scheduling a tour. It looks like, for the first time in Abysmal history, we’ll be hitting southeast Asia. Look for an official announcement from our publicist, Lacey Greenwood, in coming weeks.

—Girth

Written by Girth McDürchstein on June 7, 2007 2:28 PM
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June 11, 2007

Once We Were Drug Runners

Now that I’m back with Abysmal Crucifix, I gotta admit I feel a little bad about writing an essay for my former buddy Tommy’s anti-Abysmal site. I was in a bad place at the time, so of course I’d say dickish and untrue things about Girth and my friends.

I’m over it now, and to make it up to Girth, I’ll tell you a 100% true story that is far more damning than anything on Tommy’s stupid defamation site. It goes like this…

Read More of "Once We Were Drug Runners" »

Written by Mikey Parker on June 11, 2007 3:39 PM
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June 16, 2007

PRESS RELEASE: WORLD TOUR Announcement!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Lacey’s Relations
1142 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 600
Los Angeles, CA 90017

HEAVY METAL LEGENDS ANNOUNCE FIRST WORLD TOUR IN 10 YEARS

HOLLYWOOD, June 16, 2007 — For Abysmal Crucifix, the past two years have seen in-fighting, production problems, financial difficulties, embarrassment, and failure. In recent weeks, the band has regrouped and tried to put their recent problems in the past while looking ahead to the future. Slated for an October release, they are nearing completion of their latest album (Girth McDürchstein’s ‘The Return’). Before the tentative release date, Abysmal Crucifix wants to return to the hearts and minds of fans and consumers—with a world tour.

Dates have been set for performances in Japan and many Scandinavian nations in July and August. More dates will be announced as they are booked. For the moment, the OFFICIAL TOUR DATES are:

DateCityVenue
7.7.07TurkuRuisrock Festival
7.11.07HelsinkiKyrpien keskitalvi
7.13.07OsloDas Auge des Gotthaus
7.14.07OsloDas Auge des Gotthaus
7.18.07StockholmArenan
7.20.07LundMejeriet
7.22.07Reykjaví­kGrand Rokk
8.11.07TokyoMakuhari Messe
8.12.07TokyoMakuhari Messe
8.15.07NagoyaStirrup Nation
8.18.07OsakaLagold Electric Now
8.19.07OsakaLagold Electric Now

Tickets will be available for purchase starting this Sunday (June 17, 2007).

Abysmal Crucifix’s friend/artist, Alistair Freeman (designer of each Abysmal album cover and logo) has created two promotional posters to be distributed by Abysmal Crucifix’s Japanese street teams. Unfortunately, when we contacted members of our Scandinavian street teams for aid in translation and distribution, we received few responses. Those who did reply suggested their time would be better spent “hunting gypsies.” We assume this is an odd language-barrier malapropism. Check out the Japanese promotional posters below.

Click each image for a larger view.

###

Press Contact:
Lacey Greenwood
818.655.5000
laceygstring@girthmcdurchstein.com

Written by Lacey Greenwood on June 16, 2007 8:07 AM
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